Thursday, May 24, 2012

Jack of All Trades ... Master of None.

I have a lot of interest and passions.  I've always thought that was a good trait, because I've always had an easy time learning new things.  Wait, are you missing the connection there?  I do that a lot.  Things connect in my head, and make complete sense, but then I say them out loud, and everyone is left confused.  Back to my point, learning new things has always been easy, because with my many hobbies and abilities I understand how to do a vast number of things.  All those tidbits of knowledge help me grasp new concepts easily.  This is going to sound super hippie dippy, but I've noticed a lot of things you do in life are interconnected.  Like understanding chemistry can help your gardening, or history can help your math skills.  Or maybe more obviously anatomy can help a dancer, or understanding architecture can help an interior designer.  

As important and useful as those things are, I have been busy gathering many skills while not honing my true talents.  To be honest I'm not even sure what my 'true talents' are.  When I graduated high school, and left for college (wow, ten years ago!) I thought I would get a degree in psychology, and be a psychologist or social worker by now.  When I got to college I realized I didn't enjoy all the dry psycho-analytical scientific readings, or the arduous papers that followed them.  My college encouraged the students to take a well-rounded course load.  I tacked on an Intro to Visual Arts course my first semester, because I loved my photography class in high school.  Half the semester I was in an Intro to Drawing class, and the other half I was in an Intro to Architecture class.  I loved those classes the most, and I would put my all into the assignments.  I knew early on that I wanted to spend all my time in the visual arts building.  I was able to get into a beginning photography and printmaking classes my second semester, and I stuck with that path.  I love both of those art forms.  They truly are interconnected.  Photography wouldn't exist if it wasn't for printmaking.  

My one issue with both these crafts, is they are super expensive, and not easy to get into independently.  Yet there aren't many entry level jobs out there either.  Sometimes I wish I had gotten a degree in graphic design.  Or maybe I should have combined my degree with education, and given into becoming a teacher.  I guess what I'm saying, is I'm not sure how helpful my degree has been.  Sure I learned a lot of things, and I'm glad I gained that knowledge, but am I glad I gained all that debt?  Did my college degree help get me where I am today?  I'm not sure that the answer to those questions is yes, and that's depressing.  

It kicks me in the butt, and screams I need to make a change with my life.  That is a big part of the reason I started this blog.  On the onset of this thing I was not well connected to the blogging community, and I didn't know how many people were already out here doing this.  It's seems shameful to admit now, but it's true.  So when I started I didn't think anyone would read this, little less that I would find so many people with similar interest.  Though with all these amazing blogs, and finding Pinterest and Chictopia and the Gawkerverse, I feel like I'm losing myself in the sea of creativity.  

A friend recently asked me what my plan is.  I felt completely vulnerable, and didn't know how to answer her.  I've been thinking about my 'Plan' for a LONG time, and I know where I want to be, but I'm afraid to put it out there.  I'm terrified of failure, and I don't want to open my heart for all to see, only for it to be left out in the cold.  A big part of me wants to type up my goals in a bullet point list, and post them for the whole internet to see.  A larger part is petrified of my accountability to that list, and the idea of someone asking me if I've reached XYZ goal yet.  What if along the way my goals change?  What about that list then?  Plus if I'm afraid to tell a friend over the phone, isn't the internet way too public and permanent?  

I feel totally accountable to this blog, especially since I named it 365 Days of DIY.  I don't think it would be possible for me to skip a day of blogging.  Honestly, I have pangs of regret that I haven't been able to post a new DIY every single day.  Sometimes I worry I'm letting down all the people that followed my blog because of my Paper Pulp Seedling Cups post.  Like maybe they expect me to be less into fashion and material things, because I also enjoy being sustainable and thrifty.  Those two things seem to be totally contradictory.  How can I make a list of clothing and cutesy products, yet be concerned about recycling and not buying more non-necessary material goods?    I guess that's just who I am.  I hope you enjoy reading my blog and keep coming back, because each follower I gain or like on facebook I get encourages me to work a little hard.  I truly appreciate anyone who takes time out of their busy lives to read my words, and look at my photography on a regular basis.  Thank you readers!!!  Happy DIYing, chris.